What Marriage and Babies After 35 Looks Like (Part 1)

My Life Stats By Age

  • Started dating my husband at 35
  • We got married when I was 37
  • First baby born when I was 37
  • Miscarriage at 39
  • Second baby born when I was 40

As you can see, I didn’t follow the path that many do. I wasn’t married in my early 20’s, so I can’t speak to that. I was engaged at 22, and dodged that bullet, ha! Nice enough guy, we just weren’t right for each other and figuring that out before there’s a wedding is pretty solid work. I imagine there are several bonuses to getting married so young, but for me, the longer route worked out to be much more stable.

Do You Even Know Yourself?

At the time, I couldn’t see it. It was frustrating to believe you were supposed to get married by 25, but then, to not be. That rear view mirror is magical! Now, I see what a time of growth my 20’s were. Certainly, you can grow, change, and learn within a relationship as well, but this was a time to discover who I was and what I wanted. Sure, I dated, but having the time and freedom to really grow friendships, interests, and my faith really impacted who I have become. Toward the end of my 20’s is when I moved south to Charlotte, NC from Cincinnati, OH. And yes, I moved with a boyfriend at the time, but I can see how God driven that whole situation was.

My 30’s Revolution

Again, it’s funny how hindsight works! I have never really feared age. My parents are currently on their way to 73 and 81 years old. They are vibrant, active, adventure seeking, and they fully pursue their passions. I know a lot of young people who can’t be described in those ways, which I find sad. Turning 30 was exciting! I wasn’t worried about age, but the thought of not having the family I always dreamed of, that did bother me. I was ready for a new chapter and season of life though. I was uber focused on my career and worked a ton investing in my students as a teacher. My faith deepened as I found a community at Warehouse 242 in Charlotte that really taught me so very much about my relationship with God.

I will admit it. It was challenging at times. Seeing friends marry and start families when I held that desire so strongly was extremely painful at times. No one deserves that honor more than anyone else, we just have different expertly designed paths made just right for each of us. It was when I really embraced my stage of life where the magic happened for me. During this time, I traveled a fair amount and was able to do and see things I probably wouldn’t have otherwise. Some of my strongest friendships were cultivated during this time of life because I had the time to devote to others. Running became more and more a part of my life and soul as I trained and ran many races including my 2nd marathon. And again, my faith kept growing stronger. This doesn’t mean it wasn’t challenged, but in challenge (or failure) lies growth.

As I neared 35, I became more and more comfortable with myself. I didn’t spend as much time concerned about my future, but focused more and more on leading my day to day life as full as possible. I began to surround myself with more people who I aligned with in various ways, but who also inspired me. Maybe it was an interest in music and concerts, or running, faith, positivity, craft beer… you name it. Ultimately, it also became about how those around me made me feel and if it was positive and uplifting, then give me more of that. I still feel this way today. Why not surround yourself with people who make you feel more actualized to the person you want to be?

Before Part 2 of my story, think about how your life stages have shaped who you have become. What (or who) is the largest factor for you? Is there something you are looking forward to while enjoying your present day?

5 thoughts on “What Marriage and Babies After 35 Looks Like (Part 1)

  1. Thank you for this blog Amber . I am older but am also transitioning and reflecting . Your posts have helped me .

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    1. I am beyond glad to hear this has helped even a little! You’ve got this thing! I hope you continue to enjoy reading and interacting with the blog and me 🙂

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  2. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your story! Even I didnt know some of this!
    Love you, friend

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    1. Thank you for your support! It is tough to be vulnerable at times, but I think there is great value in it as well. Love you dearly! Thanks for reading 🙂

      Like

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