We all know how it is, you have these amazing times when you’re dating, full of freedom and learning about one another. Over time, things get real. Maybe you are investing more time in your careers, or in your health or hobbies. Maybe you have children now and they take over your brain space. I know sometimes it is easy, no matter what stage of life you are in, to get into a rut with your significant other. Trust me, I get it. It can be tempting to sit in front of the TV every night and just zone out. It’s nice to be in the same room, but does it even matter when you are sitting there with zombie eyes?
My husband and I have gone through these times here and there, but we are in recovery. You know why? Because we are committing to finding and making the time to reconnect like we did when we were dating. Here are 7 ways we are fueling our fire for each other.
1. Secret Happy Hours!! If you follow me on social, then you already know this one. We meet up for a couple drinks and maybe a snack from time to time before we grab the kids from daycare. It gives us a chance to talk without someone asking for crackers, milk, or to hold them.
2. We plan for it financially. Seriously, put that babysitting money right in the old budget tracker, friends. Come up with how often you hope to have time alone and away, one on one, and figure out how much that will cost. I know this isn’t an actual date idea, but it’s just as important. If we know we need an overnight sitter (read, more expensive), then we scale back the month or two before so we can make that happen. This leads me right into my next ‘fire builder.’
3. Plan an overnight(s) away just the 2 of you. If you don’t have children, maybe this is a little bit easier, but fur babies count! They have to be planned for and taken care of in your absence as well. Maybe your overnight will include shopping, a concert, dinner out, hiking, or whatever you like to do together. Maybe, and this is a wild idea here, it will include sleeping and unwinding so you can recharge together.
4. Try something new together. My husband and I love learning something new together. We bond over the laughter that ensues! Not too long ago, we went to one of those wine and paint places. It was so much fun! While I’m a bit artsy, my husband is certainly not. However, he was a great sport and had so much fun!
5. Read a book together. I love this, guys! It allows you to learn together or enjoy an escape. This has provided such rich opportunity for connection and conversation for us. We have read all types of things from the Bible, to Whole 30, to Millionaire Morning, to various fiction. Every time we embark on that journey together, we enjoy it and feel an excitement about getting to spend that time together.
6. Exercise together. Even if you don’t necessarily like the same type of exercise, getting those endorphins pumping together is great! My husband likes running as much as a root canal and I love to run, so we don’t do that together, but there are plenty of other activities. Hiking, biking, yoga, weightlifting, or even simple walks.
7. All the things above can lead to some boudoir time, if you know what I mean….wink, wink. Connecting in the above ways creates a space in which you feel more connected emotionally, mentally, and physically. When that connection is maintained and fueled, an intimate connection is more likely to be a part of the relationship and that’s not a bad thing either :).
In the end, anything you used to enjoy doing together when you first fell in love is going to help you to experience those same fluttery feels in your heart and stomach now. And while I kind of bashed TV veg time, there is room for that in the equation too. So, go out there and make a plan to connect and foster that love you have for each other so it continues to blossom and multiply.
What activities help you and your significant other to connect? I can’t wait to hear your suggestions!